Clefairy
by lrhaboggle
Summary: Perry was only trying to clean her dorm room when she stumbled upon what looked like her roommate's latest Bio project. But what the heck even was it? It certainly wasn't anything Silas had ever mentioned in its mythology classes!


Perry exhaled slowly. She adored her roommate more than anything else in the world, but they could be such a slob! Currently, science books, little glass vials and unfinished machinery lay strewn about the room and Perry's inner OCD was coming out in spades. Before she knew what she was doing, she was on her hands and knees, cleaning every last inch of the dorm. Particularly her roommate's side.

"Come on, Lafontaine!" Perry silently cursed her roommate. "You've got to learn how to clean-" but before the young woman could finish her thought, two little, shiny black eyes peeped out at her from under the bed. Perry was so surprised that she let out a scream and jumped back in terror, crashing into her own bed while doing so. She was too surprised by those eyes, however, to notice the pain. Instead, she watched as the eyes got bigger as the creature emerged from under Lafontaine's bed. It was a tiny, round, pink creature with four stubby limbs. It had what appeared to be ears, or horns, and they were tipped with black and there was a weird swirl on its forehead. Perry wasn't sure what to do about this. She knew that Silas U was far from normal, but this was insane. This was a mythological creature no class ever told her about and even though she had since forsaken the ways of the mystic, she was pretty sure that this thing wasn't part of any old legend she or anyone else may have ever heard of before. Then it occurred to her. It had come from under Lafontaine's bed.

"LAFONTAINE?!"

"You called?" a ginger head appeared in the doorway.

"Care to explain your little bio project?" Perry almost spat, pointing an accusatory finger at the little pink monster.

"Bio project?" Lafontaine was genuinely confused. Then they turned to see what Perry was pointing at. "Whoa!"

"So what do you think it is?" Perry asked.

"I don't know. I've never seen anything like it before," Lafontaine responded, taking the thing into their arms.

"Nor have I," Perry muttered, peeking at it cautiously as Lafontaine began to cradle it like a child.

"Where did you come from?" they asked the creature in a cooing tone, gently turning said creature over. There, on its smooth pink back, were three Greek letters written in sharpie. Zeta Omega Mu.

The Zetas?" Lafontaine breathed in confusion as they turned the creature back over so that its face was staring up at Lafontaine's again.

"What?" Perry asked. Lafontaine gave her the pink creature before kneeling back down by their bed and peeking under.

"Hey! I found a note too!" they cried, then they crawled under the bed and when they came back out, they had a scrap of paper in their hand.

"What does it say?" Perry asked, gently petting the strange pink thing as she held it. Lafontaine proceeded to read the short note.

 _Dear Lafontaine and Perry,_

 _The Zeta Bros found this thing roaming the Styrian mountains. Don't ask why we were out there. Just know that it's called a Clefairy. Sounds kind of like your ship name of Laferry, don't you think? Besides, it's small, pink and cute and has a squeaky voice. Totally gay right? Kind of like you hotties. Hope you enjoy!_

 _With love from all the handsome dudescort-Zetas!_

"Idiots," Lafontaine sighed as they folded the note up. It was no secret that they and Perry were lovers and in fact, their ship name had been agreed upon to be "Laferry", but this was a bit much. This wasn't funny.

"Of course those idiots would do this!" Perry shook her head in disapproval, still bouncing the Clefairy thing gently in her arms.

"Clefairy!" the little pink thing finally squeaked. Hearing it make such a soft, sweet sound softened Lafontaine and Perry up somewhat.

"What should we do with it?" Lafontaine asked, reaching out to pet its head again.

"Probably return it to the mountains," Perry responded.

"How?" Lafontaine snorted. "Those mountains are miles away. I mean, how the heck did the frat boys figure out how to get there?"

"Well, we may not have the same tools the Zetas did," Perry allowed, "But there is still someone we can ask. Laura Hollis."

A few hours later, Laura had managed to get Carmilla to use her vampire strength and speed to return Clefairy to its mountain home. The brooding vampire had, of course, been less than thrilled by this request, but when Laura asked, the answer changed to yes really fast.

"All done," the vampire wiped her hands as she suddenly appeared back in the dorm, running so fast that nobody had seen her until she stopped.

"You returned it home safely?" Perry asked, wringing her hands. Although she had come to terms with Carmilla being a vampire and did have to admit that Carmilla hadn't killed anyone yet, she still didn't exactly trust the vampire girl with much. That included cute little pink things.

"Yes," the vampire answered. "Don't you worry," she added, making sure to wink mischievously. Perry felt her blood run cold.

Ultimately, though, neither Carmilla's trip up to the mountains nor her attempt to scare Perry worked because, just a few hours after the deed was done, Clefairy appeared in their dorm room once more. Perry had been right in the middle of getting ready for bed when she heard a knock at the door. Though she had to admit that it was odd to get such a late visitor, as the dorm's floor don, she was obligated to answer. She opened the door and looked around. No one. Had this been a trick?

"Clefairy!" a sweet little voice trilled. Perry felt her blood run cold again and she looked down. Sure enough, there that tiny creature was again, staring up happily at her with those beady black eyes.

"Stubborn thing!" Perry cried as she picked the creature up and took it inside the dorm again.

"You know, actually, it's kind of cute," Lafontaine observed, peeking their head out of the bathroom. "I almost wouldn't mind keeping it…"

"Laf!" Perry sighed.

"No! Hear me out! We could look after it!" Lafontaine said. "If I just study it and its body chemistry, I can figure out how to care for it and maybe we can keep it. It came back to us after Carmilla dropped it off, after all. Who's to say it doesn't _want_ to stay with us?" they pointed out.

"Hmm, maybe," Perry said, though she still looked doubtful.

"Please, Perry?" Lafontaine pushed their lip out and gave Perry the best puppy eyes they could. "It doesn't have a mother and we-"

"Ok!" Perry interrupted. Lafontaine only had needed to say that it didn't have a mother and Perry was sold. That nerd knew just how to get Perry to do whatever they wanted. They knew just how to tug at her maternal instinct. Lafontaine fist-pumped the air in triumph.

"This will be awesome!" they cried. "You and I will raise a kid together! I've always wanted to!"

"It will certainly give the Zetas something to fanboy over," Perry agreed dryly. "We'll really seem like an old married couple now."

"Well, if you don't mind my asking, what's so wrong about that?" Lafontaine teased. Perry instantly felt her face redden.

"Well, nothing's _wrong_ with it," she said slowly. "I would just like the Zetas to not make fun of our love and our kid."

"Don't worry," Lafontaine said, stepping closer to their lover. "What they think won't matter. We've _got_ love and a kid. _That's_ all that matters."

"Point taken," Perry laughed, then suddenly, she and Lafontaine were in tangled up together in bed.

"You can't have a kid without having a science hug," Lafontaine pointed out. Perry only sighed in amused affection and kissed Lafontaine again. And again. And again. And again.

24 hours later, the pair were stargazing on the dorm roof. Little Clefairy, whom they had officially renamed "Laferry", hovered between them and squealed up at the full moon.

"It certainly seems to like the moon," Perry noted in amusement as the thing began to dance around, stubby arms raised to the starlit sky.

"Well, when the moon is out, it could indicate spiritual activity." Lafontaine said thoughtfully, rubbing their chin as they stared up. "The moon, after all, acts upon many things, like dreams, lunacy, nervous people and life itself. The moon, this night, is full of idyllic and magnetic influence!"

"Since when did you become a mystic?" Perry teased.

"Hey! It's not just mystics!" Lafontaine sat up at once, offended that Perry would dare mistake them for a mystic instead of a scientist. "Science has studied the moon and its possible effects with great intensity and I'd like to think our kid is proof that there's something special about a full moon!" they cried, indignant. They pointed up at the still-dancing Laferry. It squealed a couple times before Perry finally answered.

"Whatever you say, dear," she said with an affectionate shake of the head, then she snuggled closer to Lafontaine and the couple continued to watch in serene silence as Laferry and the stars danced over their heads in the light of the glowing moon.

 **AN: Inspired by how similar "Laferry" and "Clefairy" sound and the fact that, as the Zetas note, Clefairy looks pretty gay (with Jigglypuff being its only equal which is made even funnier if you know about Clefairy, Jigglypuff, and Westboro Baptist). In addition, Laf's line about the moon is taken straight from the Carmilla book and, as I'm sure you all can tell, this story takes place in S1. The "stargazing" was also a semi-reference to Carmilla and Laura's own stargazing session even though, for Laf and Perry, they did it the night before and called it "science hugging". Also, yes, I know that neither Laf nor Perry could technically be gay given that Laf is nonbinary, but just go with it, ok?**


End file.
